Adoption, IVF, and a closed door
By Jesse Johnson - Posted at The Cripplegate:
Recently I was asked at a Bible study for advice from a few couples who had been trying to adopt but without success, as well as a few who had been pursuing in vitro fertilization (IVF), also without success. The gist oft the question: should they keep trying, or try a different method (adoption vs IVF)? My answer was recorded, and I’ve given it to other couples as well. It’s transcribed below with the hope it can be helpful to others.
Now, I know every situation is different and if I talked to you guys personally and got more info on each of your situations, my input might be different than what follows. But with that disclaimer, here are the main points to consider as you weigh these options:
1. God is sovereign over the womb. He controls when people get pregnant, miscarry, and give birth, and every detail in between. He is in control of this, and he’s in control personally. In that he loves you, has a plan for you, and is working at that plan even through this trial. So keep praying and trusting knowing that you praying to (and trusting in) a personal God, who is personally involved in this decision.
2. God is doing something in the waiting, we just don’t know what. It’s possible he’s clarifying your desires—as in, as more time goes by you reflect on if pursuing a child through either adoption or IVF really is what he has for you. Time has a way of amplifying or declining your desires, so perhaps that is what God is doing. It’s also possible he’s making you more dependent on him through the wait. The longer you wait, the more you are seeing your identity is grounded in your relationship with Christ, not your status as a parent. It’s possible you are going through this simply as an example for others around you, who can learn from how you respond and in effect they end up glorifying God more because of this.